Do you want to know how to change child behavior? If so, then you’re probably a parent, a sibling or some sort of guardian. I understand your situation. Children can be quite a handful; and as much as we want them to grow up to be good and kind, there are times when their behavior shows otherwise. The earlier you deal with bad behavior, the better.Here are some proven ways to change child behavior:1) Through Effective Role ModelsChildren learn by copying those around them. If the child you’re in custody of shows bursts of violence, that could mean anything from a violent television show or violence at home or at school. Do what you can to become a positive role model. For example, avoid raising your voice and hitting others (even if it’s only playful) in front of the child. Don’t expose the kid to violence on television and encourage shows which are conducive to learning positive values instead. 2) Through Honesty And CompassionOne effective way to change child behavior is to call the child out when caught in the act. Instead of reprimanding the kid, however, show compassion. Tell the child what he did wrong and why it’s wrong in the first place. You might think he’s too young to understand, but he’s probably not. Kids today show a remarkable understanding of life, and it’s up to you to lead them in the right direction. 3) Through Reward And IndifferenceEveryone understands the concept of reward and punishment. Even children have an inherent knowledge of how this system works. However, in this case, let us use the word indifference instead. When a child does something good, you may reward him with your choice of prize on occasions (Don’t overdo it and don’t make it predictable; or else, he might only get motivated to behave because of the prize and not because it’s the right thing to do). But when he exhibits untoward behavior, and doesn’t respond to your honesty and compassion technique, the only thing left to do is to ignore him. I’m not saying you should leave your child alone in the house while you gossip with the neighbors; or worse, have a drink at the local bar. I’m proposing not talking to the child (but still keeping an eye on him) until he eventually apologizes for his bad behavior. Keep in mind though that this technique is only for kids who are old enough to know that what they’re doing is bad. These are just some of the proven ways to change child behavior. Hopefully, you can find something that you can use best in your situation.
Archive for the ‘Child Behavior’ Category
Change Child Behavior: 3 Proven Ways To Make Your Kid Behave
Friday, August 13th, 2010Child Behavior Help – Putting an End to Disrespect and Defiance
Thursday, July 15th, 2010If you’re looking for child behavior help, then you may have a child who acts in ways that alarm you. For instance, some kids are disrespectful, and chronically defiant. Other kids will scream “I hate you” or make disturbing threats when they don’t get what they want. Kids who have disorders like ADHD or ODD are particularly prone to this. As parents, this behavior is concerning not only because it is hurtful, but because we worry about what is going to happen when our children take this behavior out into the world and meet up with authorities who will not tolerate it and will, in fact, punish it harshly.Let’s face it, child behaviour is important because kids need to learn how to get along with others. They need to learn the pecking order and how things work in the real world, not just to survive it, but to thrive in it. As parents, it is our job to prepare our children with the skills to face the world. This is one reason that you can’t let defiance continue unchecked.If you’re raising a kid who is chronically disrespectful, what teacher is going to take a liking to him and write a recommendation letter for college and who is going to want to hire him? As a parent, these are questions that you can’t help but ask yourself. The key here is to get child behavior help before things get too far out of control. As you have probably realized already, poor impulse control does not get better on its own. In fact, it usually worsens with time. And each time a child gets away with disrespectful behavior, this reinforces his sense of power until he starts to believe that he is in charge and that the world revolves around him. This is a dangerous scenario. Although you may tell yourself that this is just a phase that your child is going through, know that the most difficult situation for a parent to deal with (especially a single, female parent) is an out-of-control teenager who is bigger and stronger than you. The key: don’t let it come to this. The reasons for helping your child change poor child behaviour are clear: if your child knows how to get along with others, if he has what Daniel Goleman calls “emotional intelligence,” then he is more likely to succeed in all areas of life, including the workplace. Humans are social creatures and we must learn how to get along with others. This is just a reality of life.So the key is getting your child back on track and this requires some learning on your part. This doesn’t mean that you are a bad parent or that it’s your fault that your child behaves the way he does. It just means that no one has ever taught you the skills to turn negative self-limiting behaviors into positive, life-affirming actions. Of course the first step is in believing that child behavior help is possible. There are countless cases of troubled youths who have turned their lives around. Imagine for a moment that transforming child behaviour and restoring the sense of peace in your home is possible. The second step is to get a resource that will teach you the techniques to make this change. If you’re worried that these techniques will be punitive or that you will have to become a harsh disciplinarian, like your parents were, then put your fears aside. These techniques are about setting limits firmly and lovingly and even with some humor. This is about getting your kid to respect you because he starts to trust in you and sees that you are giving him the tools to create a better life. It’s about being smart and effective, rather than being harsh. Although kids may respect a mean parent out of fear, their ability to love that parent is forever tainted by their fear. Learning to use a knowledge of what motivates kids in a clever and life-affirming way that sets the limits and encourages your child to discover his strengths and make choices that help him feel good about his life is what an effective child behavior help program is all about. Your kid isn’t a bad kid, he just needs to learn how to better cope with his frustration and he needs strategies for making choices that serve him, instead of constantly making his life miserable and alienating him from others. It takes a caring parent to recognize that mean-spiritedness, rebelliousness and defiance are actually a cry for help and shows that your child has become disconnected from his heart and his sense of humanity. Such a parent takes swift and effective action to help turn this situation around. Best of all, as your child starts to make good choices and sees how good this kind of child behaviour makes him feel, he will be that much more motivated to do well at home, at school and in his relationships with others.
4 Easy Steps To Stop Defiant Child Behavior
Wednesday, June 16th, 2010Dealing with defiant child behavior is something many parents face and feel powerless about. Knowing how to react is very important and the following advices will help you. You have to remember that defiant child behavior has its roots in your behavior as a parent. Defiant children test their parents until the rules are clear and explained enough for them to accept them and change their behavior.
Let’s learn how to make your child understand which behavior is acceptable and which one isn’t.
1. Always apply right away a negative consequence to a bad behavior and a positive consequence to a good behavior. Parents tend to forget to reward their child’s good behavior but if it takes an effort to your child and therefore has to be rewarded. Also, it’s a great way to make your child choose to have a good behavior. He’ll notice he can have a much nicer life by acting in a good way.
2. Give the choice to your child. Don’t say “put this on” or “do this right now”. Don’t give orders, give choices. “The white shirt or the blue one”. Stick to the choices you give. Repeat yourself if necessary.
3. Staying calm and firm is extremely important. Your outbursts will only worsen the situation.
4. Be consistent and your child will notice you never give in and that he’ll never get what he wants by insisting or being defiant or annoying.
What your child needs is a structure. Often, defiant child behavior comes from an Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) which requires more than just a slight change in your own parenting attitude. Don’t be afraid with such words. It’s a label but kids are different and can’t be labelled. Therefore, to prevent such behavior from being carried into adulthood by your child, the structure has to be settled as early as possible. Within the limits you set up, and if they are understood by your child, he’ll grow up with values such as respect and will be able to handle problems.
Stopping defiant child behavior, when it seems impossible, can require a parenting program. Indeed, those methods provide full support, a guideline and effective communication tools. It’s very important to find your parenting style as it’s never too late to make a change occur in your child’s behavior.