A couple during the course of their marriage, may experience several ups and downs. First of all, before choosing a marriage counselor, they must check if there is anything that they can solve by themselves. After all, if love can bring them together, sorting out issues can be handled. If after a while, and after spending time and talking to each other, they find that it is not working, then they may seek a marriage counselor.
It may be the right time to approach a marriage counselor when there has been absolutely no conversation around the house for several weeks. The issues could be various, from stress at work, financial issues or even trivial things such as late night outs by either of the spouse. A good marriage counselor can help build the relationship to how it had been earlier.
A marriage counselor is a licensed therapist who can help married couples, or even unmarried couples, sort out their differences. They will be able to see through the problem with a detachment, which will allow them to give them very fair as well as practical pieces of advice. They will help the couple maintain a very healthy relationship.
There are several factors that need to be looked into when it comes to choosing a marriage counselor. First one has to make sure that they are licensed. There may be therapists and counselors who are not licensed, and it may be a mistake going to them even if they are known to the couple, as they may be capable of giving complete advice.
Most marriage counselors will need training much in advance before they get into actual practice. To ensure that the chosen marriage counselor has indeed completed training, would be a good move. They should also compulsorily be a member of the American Association for marriage and family therapy. The places where they practice from is also important.
Many of them will have private practices, and their own clinics. They may also work in hospitals, exclusive mental institutions or in nonprofit organizations. A couple could also ask the counselor if he has had experience with the type of problems that they are looking at, and if he is capable of handling the intensity of the problem.
Each marriage counselor must at least spend an hour with each couple, and this must also be taken into consideration, besides the fees that they charge for each session. One main thing that the couple will have to ask the counselor is how much time they need to spend with him. Based on this they may choose the counselor, as the one who cares will take the needed time to sort out the issues.
In case of emergencies, especially if either of the spouses is going through depression of a severe kind, the counselor should available. The couple should also check if the counselor is available at good hours, so that they may approach him when they can. The family doctor could be of great help in referring a good marriage counselor.
Posts Tagged ‘Counselor’
Choosing The Right Marriage Counselor Is Important
Friday, August 20th, 2010Be Your Own Marriage Counselor
Monday, August 16th, 2010Love and marriage may go together like a horse and carriage but sometimes they become unhitched. Marriage without love is like a carriage without a horse…one without the other is not going anywhere. Perhaps your marriage is suffering a severe lack of love and you’re thinking about mounting the nearest available horse and getting the heck out of marriageville.
Wait! Maybe you and your spouse should seek counseling…or better yet be your own counselor. It can be done but it takes a concentrated plan of action from both the husband and wife.
Most couples, in time of trouble, resort to their basic instincts of hate, disrespect, demands and anger. There goes the respect and love that will eventually be replaced by hate which could result in divorce.
You must take action to avoid divorce which is a life changing occurrence, usually not for the better. Create a plan to restore your love and respect. You’ve been playing your marriage by ear day by day and trusting your instincts. This may work for awhile, even a few years, but as marriage breeds apathy you must seek and plan for a rekindling of that old flame
Remember how emotional you were when you first fell in love? When you’re in love your emotions enable you to contribute to each other’s emotional needs. These range from being honest, admiring, communicating and being affectionate. You did and felt these qualities quite naturally early in your relationship. But, as love faded so did your emotions.
Love, no doubt, is the most important quality in a relationship but it takes more sometimes to make a marriage survive. It requires your willingness and ability to care and protect each other. Half hearted love and dedication will make it difficult to swim upstream when the waters get rough.
Know that love is both give and take, but if you’re keeping score of how much you give and your spouse takes your marriage might be doomed from the start. There will be both giving and receiving of bads and goods. Sometimes you’re the giver and sometimes the taker. Know how to do both with love and affection.
It may call for a change in your behavioral patterns. If you’re prone to angry outbursts and criticizing replace these with calmness and compliments. Making your spouse feel good is something you should enjoy doing. Husbands and wives need a certain amount of undivided attention. Don’t let volunteer work, family, work or children get in the way.
As your own counselor you must learn to negotiate and come to a joint agreement that is pleasant and thoughtful. Look at the problems from all sides and that could include more than yours and your spouse. Brainstorm and offer creative solutions. If you get angry, stop negotiating and come back later.
Nobody said marriage is easy and neither is being your own marriage counselor. At least you’re making an effort to become a better spouse in hopes of salvaging your marriage.
Believe in yourself and you will believe in others.
How To Save Your Marriage Without A Marriage Counselor
Tuesday, August 10th, 2010Everyone has marriage problems from time to time, and anyone who tells you differently is not being honest. The problem that the couple is facing is important, to be sure, but their way of coping with it also matters. Seeing a marriage counselor is an option, but it is possible to save your marriage without seeing one. Marriage Fitness offers an alternative way to deal with marriage problems. Traditional marriage counseling has the couple focus on the problem. They unravel it like a giant ball of string and in doing so; they focus on their feelings of hurt, betrayal and embarrassment. During therapy sessions, each person is encouraged to share their negative feelings with the other in hopes that this strategy will help to mend the relationship. If someone just finished dumping a bunch of negativity all over you, how would that make you feel? Would you feel closer to them, or would the negative emotions coming at you make you feel uncomfortable and perhaps a little defensive? It’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of dumping bad feelings on your partner and defending your own actions, but ultimately that strategy doesn’t do anything to help the couple move forward in a positive way. Marriage Fitness offers a different take on marriage problems altogether. Instead of teaching the couple new ways to communicate with each other, it gives them the tools they need disengage from their old ways of dealing with marriage problems. Putting pressure on a relationship that is already strained may cause it to break down completely. If you are thinking about how to save your marriage, you don’t want it to deteriorate any further. A better strategy is to find a way to stop the cycle of anger, hurt, and blame. Marriage Fitness teaches participants how they can do that. They disengage from their previous patterns of communicating with each other and focus on reconnecting with their partner. This is a different approach than what a marriage counselor can offer. Whether you are struggling in your marriage because of infidelity, emotional abuse, and lack of affection, no appreciation or sheer boredom, Marriage Fitness can help. People who have lost trust in each other or who have already separated can benefit as well. It’s not too late to make a positive change that can get your marriage back on track.
If you have already seen a marriage counselor and that process hasn’t improved things, the problem is with the process, not with you. Marriage Fitness can help to heal a relationship and let couples rediscover their connection to each other. Visit MarriageMax.com to discover how this approach to dealing with marriage problems works.